FRANK FARRELLY
"You bring out people's protest by collaborating with the enemy."
Frank Farrelly (1931 - 2013) has received international recognition as a highly gifted therapist. He is the author of several publications, including "Provocative Therapy" (with Jeff Brandsma). Farrelly conducted numerous workshops, seminars, and demonstrations in America, Europe, and Australia. He continued to travel the world until his 80s, teaching provocative therapy to aid workers. Trained as a social worker, he worked as a therapist in psychiatric hospitals for many years. His pioneering work with severely disturbed clients makes him a very interesting and important therapist.
Two important and frequently used quotes from Farrelly are: "Take your professional dignity and throw it out the window in the service of the client," and "I approach what the client avoids." I believe this reflects the essence of provocative coaching.
In the spring of 2010, I attended a course with him in Germany. Over five full days, there was ample opportunity to converse with Frank. Noni Höfner, another provocative psychotherapist in Munich, had already put in a good word for me. However, within the first two minutes, I realized that interviewing this star, who had spoken about this subject countless times, in a traditional manner—asking questions and getting answers—would be nearly impossible. My initial question (after some about his personal life) was about how his provocative approach differed from therapies in mental health institutions at that time. His response was, "Did you read my book?"
With a chuckle, I admitted that I might not be able to come up with any brilliant questions after all (even though I had put effort into that first question), and I suggested that he simply tell me what he wanted to share. The conversation below is a summary of this 'story': discussions we had at the table without a formal interview, conversations during the training, and spontaneous gatherings.
Frank began seeking alternative ways to help clients gain insight due to a) the motivation challenges faced by some clients, and b) his own upbringing, which involved different communication styles. He remarked, "If you're one of twelve kids, no one asks, 'Well, Frank, what do you want?' You just have to keep your head above water. Mom and Dad really didn't have time for me at all. My siblings kept me in line." These two factors—the lack of desired results in previous therapeutic conversations and his childhood experiences—led him to explore new methods of providing assistance.
During the sixties, when Frank introduced his new therapy approach, working provocatively in mental health care was groundbreaking. Society was still heavily influenced by the legacy of Freud. Frank introduced a new form of therapy: protest therapy. Reflecting on this, Frank remarked, "But, it's still very new to a lot of people." The need to work differently emerged as he observed that the prevailing approach was insufficient. Frank often dealt with individuals with severe psychiatric disorders undergoing mandatory treatment. This required a different approach from the Rogerian, kind, understanding, and supportive methods. "Client-centered therapy works best with mild depression, mildly anxious individuals, and introverted men," Frank noted. "But that only accounted for 15% of my client population in Wisconsin, so I had to come up with something else. I mentioned Tough Love first."
Frank likened provocative therapy to "friendly teasing between good friends." In this approach, you play the devil's advocate, siding with the negative and self-sabotaging aspects of your client and treating them as 'normal.' Frank often asks, "What's wrong with that?" He acknowledges that you will almost always receive an answer to this question, as well as pushback—even from schizophrenic patients or those with alcohol problems. This suggests that Frank believed his method was suitable for addressing a wide range of issues, including mental illness. When asked if provocative therapy applies to everyone, he answered affirmatively. He often faced objections, with others pointing out that everyone knows him and his approach, so clients know what to expect. To this, Frank responded, "That helps, but when they didn't know me, it worked too. How do you explain that?"
Curious about the specifics of provocative therapy, I asked one evening: "What exactly do you do with provocative therapy?" Frank responded, "You bring out people's protest by collaborating with the enemy: their own destructive behavior. Humor is the great lubricant, but I don't laugh at people; I laugh at the things that bother them." We also discussed what makes provocative therapy so distinct. "Look at the language, for example," he explained. "When I started provocative coaching, therapists spoke to patients as if they were reading 'Oedipus' by Sophocles. I felt therapists did this to impress. Most patients didn't understand this language at all. It was far removed from their reality. I knew that. I used plain language." Frank often encountered questions about whether profound discussions were possible using such straightforward language. "Nonsense," Frank retorted, "you have enough language to discuss life's profound matters."
Frank wasn't particularly fond of diagnostic labels. "There are kilometers of diagnostics performed," he remarked. "When psychology students begin their studies, they diagnose each other according to DSM-IV criteria until they've diagnosed everyone. Then, when they start practicing, they know nothing about the person behind the diagnosis." Frank's starting point was that everyone can change—a belief that motivated him to continue developing his method. He believed that people could change more rapidly and permanently, that they could influence their situation. This sometimes led him to make tough statements and take drastic measures. This perspective also extended to therapists. During a discussion about "impossible clients," Frank emphasized that therapists didn't have to endure everything. If something was unbearable, therapists could say, "I can't work well with you," "I don't have enough experience with this," or "These issues are beyond my capacity to handle."
Frank often delivered such messages humorously ("I'm too old to deal with your teeny-weeny problems"), but his underlying message was clear: "You can always leave. If someone is making your life miserable, it's not a sign that you're a bad therapist." I asked him how he could deliver such blunt remarks and still maintain a connection with his clients. "Did you ever get the impression that the client didn't feel taken seriously?" he countered. "No," I responded, "they usually felt quite comfortable. One client even mentioned that after a session." Frank explained, "I simply voice what people have been saying to themselves for a long time. I also reflect what others around them have said. And I do this in an engaging and friendly manner."
Frank Farrelly's legacy lives on through his groundbreaking work in provocative therapy. His willingness to challenge traditional therapeutic approaches and his emphasis on humor, plain language, and the potential for change continue to inspire therapists worldwide. Let's keep his spirit alive by exploring new ways to connect, understand, and empower our clients. 💬✨ #ProvocativeTherapy #FrankFarrellyLegacy
